i cannot help but wonder why i cant get you out of my fucking mind after nearly two years…

i’ve been dreaming of you more and more lately and i hate it. 

i hate it. i hate it. i hate it.

my friends see you around school. your family sometimes contacts me. the girl you cheated on me with always pops up on my feed.

all this shit is constantly reminding me of you and making it impossible to truly remove you from my memory. it always leaves me with the slightest hope that maybe we are meant to be together, but you’re an asshole. 

no amount of alcohol i consume can make me forget you. no drugs, or new memories are powerful enough to replace the space you take in my head. 

i loathe you. 

but at the same time i don’t… i think i really meant it when i told you i’d love you unconditionally- and i really wished i was lying and just didn’t mean it.

i still love you.

I am constantly torn between wanting to improve myself and wanting to destroy myself.
— (via fassadenmensch)

(Source: beautyinthebellejar, via youcantoverdoseonmusic)


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